In the Post-modern era, marginalized sections of society are being brought back into centre of discourse to make them part and parcel of the society. Like Dalit and Adivasi identities, the identity of transgender has drawn the attentions of researchers to have a discourse on it in the realm of academia. Transgender can be seen in the red-light area, begging on buses and trains for earning and doing the jobs of sex- working. Transgenders are ostracized from binary society because of biological disorders and social hetero-normative mindset. The identity of transgender is both intrinsic and circumstances born. When the voice is being raised for the marginalized sections in the society for the sake of human rights, the transgenders can’t be deprived of their identity and natural rights to live the life with dignity and self respect in the society. Identity denotes a sense of being of a person, expression of that inwardness, and acceptance of it in the society. In other words, it refers to the self-realization of a person inwardly for his or her existence and acceptance of that existence with respect and dignity in society by its people. Kant states that human is end in itself, he can’t be a means for others. A similar idea opined by Shankracharya is that Brahma is truth and the world is a lie, all creatures are Brahma not differ from Brahma. There is no difference among creatures because of possessing the soul or the presence of God. Transgender can’t be different from males and females in society. Every individual deserves to get value and respect in society to be treated without being discriminated irrespective of gender, caste, color, class, community, religion and nationality etc. Every human being cherishes the hope of equality, liberty, and fraternity. The identity must be of several kinds: individual, gender, family, caste,, class, community, and religion. The identity of Transgender is a hot topic being discussed in the realm of contemporary research and academia. The marginalized sections of society have been pushed back by the main stream of society due to power structure of culture. The Post-Modern age subverts the power of authority and brings into focus the weaker class of society so that the segregated could enjoy equality, fraternity and liberty in society. Transgender refers to a status of non-confirmative being unfit to the heterosexual binary system of society. The transgender constitutes the deviant personality away from male and female genders of social set up. Oxford dictionary defines the term transgender as,” a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond to that person’s sex at birth, or which does not otherwise conform to conventional notions of sex and gender.” The transgender is an umbrella term to include several kinds of people who do not conform to their expected gender and are living the gender opposite to their assigned gender at birth. The transgender is associated with transsexual (transition of male to female and female to male through surgery and intake of hormones) and transvestite (transformation of a person by cross-dressing). Transgender includes gay, lesbian, drag queen, drag king, agender, cisgender, butch and femme who are different from their assigned sex at the time of their birth. The roots of transgender studies are inhibited in feminism. The reason behind it lies is that Feminism talks about sex and gender wherein societal make up in the dominancy of patriarchy regards female as secondary and subsidiary to be oppressed. The second wave of Feminism – the master slogan made by Simon De Beauvoir in her ‘Second Sex’, “One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman” brought system, structure of male dominated society into analysis and reevaluated them to reveal androgenic interest out for female liberation The Queer Studies is related to LGBTQIA encompassing Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual. The key pinpoint of Queer Study is the study of homosexuality of the non-hetero-normativity of people who are out-casted and on the fringe of society. Fundamentally, the Queer Studies in the light of Post-Structuralism and Deconstruction subverts the traditional establishment of assumption of sexuality and gender identities and refers them by breaking down their very essence. The Queer theory comprises of transgender studies within its periphery but keeps a distinctive difference from it. The queer theory focuses on homosexuality, whereas Transgender Studies on deviant of personality “from one’s socially assigned gender”. (Susan Stryker, 2008). Queer Theory does not seek to make an inclusion of banished group from normal and dominant society but rather attempts to reveal the political agenda of normality out and make abnormal excluded. Michael Foucault’s “The History of Sexuality” proposed that gender and sexuality are constructed by power such as religion, law, and medicine. The homosexual minority identities speak of sexuality. Queer theorists seek to articulate that normative codes of sexuality and gender are neither stable nor natural. (Foucault, 1976). Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, the influential queer theorist, in his “Between Men” (1985) and “The Epistemology to the Closet” (1991) attempted to disclose writers’ hidden sexuality. Sedgwick showed that literary texts elevate male homo-social relations, homosexual anxiety by converting them to safer topics. Transgender Studies theorists are Susan Stryker, Judith Butler, Joy Prosser, Leslie Feinberg and who made great contribution in this emerging field. Judith Butler’s “Gender Trouble” (1990) proposes the concept of ‘Performativity of gender’ that gender is based on performance. The doing of daily routine in walking, talking, dressing and behaving modeled on gender enters deep into mind and makes the person away from the original sex. Psychologically, he or she becomes the doing or stereotypes. (Butler, 1990) Sex and gender are the two terms that require especial mention to be explored here. Sex is a biological phenomenon and gender is a social construction. By the external genitalia – penis and vagina, sex is determined either male or female. On the other hands, gender denotes both fact and process. It can be understood with an example “When a baby is born, it is termed a girl.” This statement is a piece of information ending the uncertainty of sex, at the same time it is the beginning as well because the parents think about the baby “to become a girl who will someday become a woman… how babies of that category must be dressed, addressed, and engaged with.” (Lee Airton, 2019). Gender is everywhere in visual and verbal form – hairs, clothes, talking and language. Joy Prosser’s ‘Second Skins: The Body Narratives of Transsexuality (Gender and Culture Series) (1998) argues that Queer theory’s usefulness is limited for it is too little concerned with the materiality of the body which transgender often experiences in traumatic ways. Transgender-studies pins the point how gender is experienced. (Prosser, 1998). Leslie Feinberg’s ‘Transgenders Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman’ (1996) seeks to challenge the presumption in the west of naturalness of gender dimorphism by exploring the gendered figures in other societies and historical periods – hijras in India and Native American bendheche Identity by Birth: Laxmi was born in a Brahmin family in Gorakhpur. She was born as a boy. Normally, it is a common custom that by seeing the genitalia, the gender is confirmed whether the baby born is a male or female. Therefore, Laxmi was the boy by birth determined by the genital. That boy named Raju. There are two terms sex and gender which need to be clarified initially. Sex is a biological phenomenon which is determined by the chromosomes of parents male and female: XY and XX respectively. Therefore, sex is natural and God-gifted. Gender is a social construction over baby what dress he or she is going to wear, which color he or she is going to use and what the way of language and how he or she is going to behave with others. Laxmi says: “When I was born, the doctor checked my genitals and pronounced me a boy.”All these concepts are already existed before the baby takes the birth. The gender in society is binary: male and female. Within this periphery none exists. There is discrimination in gender between a boy or a girl because parents teach different way of talking, separate way of dressing and opposite way of behaving with others to their sons and daughter. Transgender or Third genders is out of this boundary. Hence a boy is supposed to have a learning of dressing, coding of manners and way of talking totally different from a girl. She adds: “What we’re assigned as at birth – male or female – is our gender. And somewhere along the way, we human beings decided that gender would dictate our lives, steer us down certain paths, brand our behavior and inform almost all our choices – from something as trivial as the color of your car to bigger decisions such as choosing a partner for life.”

Expression of Femininity in Masculinity During boyhood

 Raju was a fragile boy in physique. He was suffering from Asthma which was being cured by the doctor at the extra care of his father. Raju's father named Chandradev Chandinath Tripathi had  three offsprings including him (Raju). Rukmani Was the eldest daughter ,second offspring was Raju and the third one Shashi. Transgnder naturally shows girlish and boyish nature both. A boy feels a girl inside and a girl a boy inside. If a transgender who is a boy in his boyhood he is attracted towards girlish activities like sense of dressing, wearing make-up, love for jewellery, painting, drawing and flowy fabric. Laxmi as Raju feels femininity in boyish body. He is attracted to the wearing of bangles on his wrists that look beautiful to him. He likes to use the feminine pronouns speaking out she or her addressing to him instead of employing the pronouns of masculine gender. Raju acts like a girl.

Laxmi expresses boldly in the text

“But the problem was that I was feminine despite being a boy. So when I wore bangles because they looked so good, red and shiny on my wrists…so I felt like girl too. I would often refer to myself as one – ‘ Main Abhi aati hoon’.”  

Raju likes to have long hair like girl because it gives inner satisfaction to him. But as he likes to grow them, he is chided and checked by his father that this way of keeping long hair is a sign of femininity which is unacceptable in the family and society. Therefore raju’s father passes the reprimanding comment: “achche ghar ke ladke aise nahi karte” (Boys from good household do not behave this way). The external body of Raju is of male and internally he feels himself as a female. The internal feeling creates an idea od confusion of his identity because his male organ suggest him to be a male bu his inner feelings rejects his identity of male and tells him that he is a female inside. Laxmi adds further," “The world kept suggesting I was a girl, but my private parts indicated that I was a boy. And then there was the whole question of sexuality. I was attracted to boys – my first inklings and stirrings of lust came from noticing big, strong arms, the hint of a guy’s moustache over his lips, billboards that advertised men’s underwear – and I was puzzled. Was there a woman inside me who couldn’t really express herself…” 

Passing Through Identity–crisis

Gender identity crisis – dysphasia goes in mind who the person is either male or female or both boy in girl or girl in a boy. Laxmi also feels the same situation of gender confusion by birth she was a male but inside a girl exists. Therefore, the doubt always remains who she is really and what identity she possesses. Vijay was one of her good friends and Laxmi liked him very much. After Vijay’s death Laxmi’s life was vacant because no one understand her. 

Different types of thoughts strike her mind. She says: “Will everyone disown me?, ‘Will I have to become a sex worker’ is my fate sealed’ , should I kill myself “Praveen sensed that Laxmi (Raju) as a both ,has a femininity in himself. He accepted it and never looked at him as odd. He openly said that “you were,you are and you will always remain Laxmi for me” When laxmi was in class 4th standard, she was suffering from disphoria, she was in dilemma whether as a Raju, she is a male or she is a female in a boy’s body. At this critical moment she decided to meet Ashoka Rao who was said to be an expert in deciding the gender particularly to those who was suffering from identity crisis. In those days Maheswari Garden was the hub of gay men, where people like Ashoka and his friends often meet and discuss the issues community. Laxmi spotted the group and saw that these gay men were also called as ‘homo’,’mamu’,’chhakka’, as she is used to be. He  met Ashoka and introduced herself to be a man of feminate nature . Inside her ,there is a girl in boy 's body which the world consider abnormal and odd Ashoka motivate that oddity is not in her but in people’s mind and therefore don’t be discouraged and be continue to her work. Ashoka says:  “No, my child you are absolutely normal. What is normal is the world around us.” The pressure of getting Raju, married to a girl ,has been made by his parent. Laxmi clearly denied the idea of getting married because the marriage would ruin two lives: a girl who would be her life partner and other one Laxmi herself. The reason of refusal of marriage proposal was that Laxmi as Raju was really not the boy but inwardly she was the girl. Therefore she was unsuitable for the marriage. Laxmi says to her father that she would commit suicide if Raju will get married to anyone else. She says: 

“Spoil not only my own life, but also that of woman who would marry me! I would rather kill myself.”  

Comments on Parents or Family

 People living in society make harsh comments on the family of transgender and the transgender. When Raju exposes the activities of femininity, the world taunts Raju’s father. She says: “Mr Tripathi talks so much about the family name and this and that but he could n’t keep his own son under control. He went and joined Hijra. He was plagued with this kind of talk for years together.”But his father never expressed his anger to Raju nor demotivates him ever. Once in an interview his father is asked, “Don’t you ashamed that you’re Brahmin and your eldest son is Hijra” He replied in a positive way that transgender can be anyone’s son or daughter because it is not our identity. He says, ”Why should I feel ashamed. No educated or woman goes into their son’s or daughter’s bedrooms to see what they are doing there.”“My child is not handicapped, my child is not mentally challenged, my child is different, his sexuality is different and that doesn’t bother me. No body throws away a desi ghee laddoo, whether it comes out perfectly round or misshapen. My child is not and will always be my child.”  

Acceptance of Gay community  

 Laxmi met Ashoka Row Kavi at Maheshwari Garden. He was a gay guy who wanted to include Laxmi into his community of MSM (Male sex Male). But Laxmi did not stay long in that community, however, she was insearch of an identity confirmation who she was. Vijay Nair, Goda Bai, brought laxmi into the quere world and accepted her through the ceremony of Haldi Kumum. She wanted to be the part of that community because she was in a search for an identity to call her own. Goda Bai made Laxmi the part of that community. She says: “This girl is Miss Thane. From today, she’s christened as Miss Thane and this is your Haldi Kumkum ceremony.” Laxmi aligned herself with the Kotis, effeminate persons to search her identity. Godas are not allowed to meet gay men because it becomes the matter of stigma to gay men.  “Gay men wouldn’t interact too much with other Kotis. We had more of a hi-bye equation then, Goda and I because as a hard-core gay man, youy would never want to be even seen talking to a koti.” Goda saw Laxmi evolving into femininity more and more. She is being a transgender specially trans-woman. Therefore, Laxmi could not resist herself from being Goda and moves on to be a trans-woman. It is her complete and absolute identity which she was searching for her existence she says: “And then, ofcourse I finally became Hijra – within the Hijra community is where I found the greatest self aligniment and self identification. And till date, that is how I see myself – as Hijra.” 

In Indian culture especially Hindu convention hijra community is considered as sub gods higher than mortals, - men, women, saints, and sadhus. We as the third gender are integral part in social order in ancient and Middle Ages. Hijras were visible and present in the society but Britishers made them out-casted. No religion was against them nor any period in history disfavored. None can wipe out Hijra’s existence and beings from society. Laxmi says: “So no body, I believe, can wipe us out and deny our existence. Society wants to marginalized us – law of the land of home came into being during British rule over India.”Hijras are believer and worshiper of Shiv sakti, enrgy on Ardhnareshwar – male and female – existence in one’s energy. Shakti, the mother, can never leave her child. Hijras are the family of Mahadev Kutumb. All the outcasts like Daanvas, Pischachinis, Bhoots are the family or Kutumb of Shiva. Therefore, they all were Baaratis on Shiva’s marriage with Parvati, the daughter of Daksha The Prajapati. It is supposed that who soever is deserted by Daksha, the king, takes shelter under Shiva. Shiva is the sheltergiver to each and every outcasted. Laxmi says:“ Whoever he thought was misfit in society – sought shelter with Mahadev, who did not believe in any system. And that is why he has daanvas, pishachinis, bhoots 

– all the outcast – everyone under him.” Laxmi,at the age of ten, during Mahashiv Ratri Parv, got married to Shivain temple by wearing a mangalsutra bought for money from the shop. She made Shiva her husband forever, and caretaker. She was under divine protection. She states: I was married to him! For years after that Shiva is my Husband! In A way, I initiated myself as a devadasi then!.”  Ganesh sawant aka Gauri is a name who is also a trans-guy from the high class family his father is an assistant commissioner of police. For the respect of the family he can’t be a Hijra but Ganesh is acquainted with Laxmi since they both met at Maheshwari Garden days of being gay. 

He is a boy with male body and a girl inside his maharstrian family is an orthodox and he tells a lie to parents that he is going to attend pooja and party stealing the blouse of his sister and saree of his mother to wear it for his inner satisfaction of female identity which he wants to expresss in these words: Later he joined the hijra community and change his name and became gauri and transwoman she wentin gender confermation surgery. On the T.v show ‘Sach Ka Samna’ Laxmi was asked whether she had been physically aused. She gave an affirmative answer – if the family particularly father had not been a support to raju, he would have been selling his body in the market involved in sex working for bread and butter. She says: “If it weren’t for him, I would have been standing in a brothel, selling my body. I would have been HIv position by now.” Sexual abuse is a man-made hellish misfortune done to the transgender in the civilized society. Transgender is vulnerable in the hands of male dominance. Besides it, a boy who is girlish in nature is also vulnerable by the sex performer. Raju who is six years old, is a weak and feminine in demeanor sexually exploited by his own cousin in a wedding party. At this age when he is totally unaware what the sex means, he is penetrated by his cousin. He feels intense pain and faints for the first time. He expresses the trauma of the first rape done to hi is unforgettable ever. He says:“He went on raping me during the course of that wedding, and even brought in another cousin and friends. I was in constant pain, there was a burning, I can never describe and never ever forget… I never thought they would ever dream of hurting me.”  

Sufferings: 

Transgender life is replete with sufferings and pains. The life for third gender becomes unbearable when the biological family, gives the third gender when they disclose their identity of Hijra before them. The family rejected them because they became frightened by the social taunting volleyed to the family’s respect. Even educated person don’t understand the pangs and psychological confusion of their children they are facing. Laxmi says that as Ganesh becomes Gauri, his father gives him up in the name of professional honour that an assistant commissioner has a hijra son that has joined the hijra community. Laxmi quotes: “Gauri’s family disowned her. 

She ‘d lost her mother at a young age, and her father simply asked her to leave home one day because he couldn’t take cross-dressing and the taunts of his social and professional circles anymore.’ Laxmi’s biological family adopted Gauri as a member of his family Where Gauri often came and asked Laxmi’s mother to cook lunch or dinner to take rest in Laxmi’s bedroom. Now, Gauri is the director of Sakshi Char Chowghi, a community-based (hijra and TG based) HIV/ AIDS organization.