The present study has been carried out in rural Haryana using exploratory and descriptive research designs. To address the research problem comprehensively and situate it in an appropriate framework, both primary and secondary data have been amply utilized. While primary information has been obtained with the help of interview technique and personal narratives; secondary data has largely been drawn from different books, project reports, journals, research articles, newspapers etc. 

Cross-region marriages in Haryana are becoming increasingly common. In some of the villages one can find up to fifty-sixty cross-region brides or even more. Based on the extensive fieldwork carried down in six villages of Haryana, it was found that while some of the cross-region brides can be seen being accepted and incorporated within their marital homes and larger community, correspondingly exist their less fortunate counterparts who are vulnerable and live with zero autonomy. Their struggles do not only comprise adapting to the social, cultural, behavioral and linguistic dissimilarities of their conjugal homes but they also have to endure subjugation, discrimination and domestic abuse. All the twenty-four brides revealed they were facing a regime of extreme violence at the hands of their husbands and other members of the conjugal family i.e. mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law etc. Ill-treatment against them ranges from volley of derogatory verbal remarks, physical abuse, sexual coercion, polyandry, strenuous domestic and farm labor, and restricted movement. A detailed analysis of their perturbing experiences is presented below: 

Physical Abuse

Domestic violence, i.e., violence at home happens to be the most cruel manifestation of violence that is experienced by any woman. The very house that should be her safe harbor becomes the most unsafe and her own people who are supposed to protect her against all ills perpetrate endless atrocities instead. This has been found true in the case of cross-region marriages as well. All the twenty-four cross-region brides (as indicated in Table 1.2) lamented being subjected to recurrent physical assaults by their husbands, mother-in-law’s and other family members over trivial issues. 

Table 1.2: Distribution of respondents based on physical abuse

Slapping, punching, shoving, kicking, arm twisting, things thrown at, being dragged by hair etc. were some of the common forms of physical abuse directed against them with the intent to cause harm and ascertain their subordination. As far as the frequency of assaults is concerned, they were bashed as frequently as over a week or two and at times on consecutive days too. Eight of the brides further stated to have experienced merciless beatings even during their pregnancies, causing miscarriages. The reasons behind the battering varied from non-compliance, misbehavior, failure to understand and learn Haryanvi dialect, inability to cook Haryanvi food to any refusal to do chores and lapse in the customary practice of ‘veil’. Excessive alcohol consumption, lack of proper employment and bad mouthing by mother-in-law or sister-in-law were noted as crucial triggers for aggressive and violent behavior of the husbands. As many as eighteen of the brides mentioned that their husbands were chronic alcoholics who under the influence of alcohol would easily get instigated and beat them. 

Sexual Abuse

Physical violence is not the only form of violence faced by cross-region brides at their conjugal homes. They encounter sexual abuse on regular basis too. The brides complained of having no sexual autonomy whatsoever and that they were frequently forced to have sex by their intimate partner.

Table 1.3: Distribution of respondents based on sexual abuse

As Table 1.3 indicates, nineteen of the brides stated that their husbands often impose on them sexually. Also, any non-adherence and resistance on their part is met with severe physical abuse and confinement. Three brides shared that their husbands had coerced sexual intercourse with them even within the first week of childbirth. Incidents like these not only reflect on the much evaded issue of ‘rape within marriage’ but also have significant bearing on the physical, reproductive and mental health of the afflicted brides.

Verbal and Emotional Abuse

Verbal denigration and emotional abuse is found to be quite endemic in cross-region marriages. The cross-region brides face discrimination and are looked down upon for being an impoverished ‘outsider’. All the interviewed brides (Table 1.4) complained that they were subjected to verbal abuse and name calling not only by their conjugal kin but derogatory remarks and pejoratives are often used for them within the community at large. 

Table 1.4: Distribution of respondents based on verbal and emotional abuse

While sharing their ordeals the brides lamented that they were constantly reminded of the fact that they belong to extremely poor families and impoverished regions where they hardly had two square meals a day. They said that their in-laws and husbands often make fun of their parents' abject poverty and inability to marry them locally. In the case of trafficked brides and those who were brought after direct payment to their parents or kin it was also discovered that their husbands and in-laws everyday reminded them that they had been purchased and hence they must comply. Most of the brides mentioned that their husbands and in-law’s used foul language and racial slurs for them, humiliated them in front of others and often made references about their dark complexion. All the brides except one maintained that they never faced discrimination because of their low caste statuses but were taunted for their dark skin, body odor and short height. In three cases it was noted that the mother-in-law’s called their cross-region bahu’s ugly and blamed them for deteriorating their genes.It was further found that these women were deemed as ‘lesser brides’ by the community members and they were pejoratively addressed as molki, paro, and Biharan. 

Forced Polyandry

In the field analysis it has come to light that in some of the cross-region marriages forced polyandry is being surreptitiously practiced. Two of the cross-region brides revealed that they were being forced by their mother-in-law’s to cohabit with their other unmarried/widowed sons and despite knowing everything their husbands never raised a single word of objection. Also, any refusal on their part was met sternly. In two separate cases, it was found that the fathers-in-law had attempted to violate the brides and when they complained against them they were labeled as liars and thrashed for being immoral.

Table 1.5: Distribution of respondents based on forced polyandry

It was observed that absence of support from natal families exacerbated their vulnerability to coerced sexual cohabitation. Going back to their native place is not an alternative available to the cross-region brides owing to the stigma that such a move would beget and also because they do not wish to become a financial burden on their already poor families. They continue to bear inhuman treatment and submit to violence for their survival.

Restrictions on Movement and Social Interactions

That numerous restrictions are imposed on cross-region brides vis-a-vis their movement and social interactions in the conjugal settings, is yet another finding which indicates towards discrimination and marginalization of the brides. All the twenty-four respondents revealed that they are confined to the house and agricultural fields. Also, their movements are strictly monitored and constrained by their husbands, mothers-in-law and other female relatives.

Table 1.6: Distribution of respondents based on restrictions imposed

Surveillance and restrictions are the instruments that are primarily used by marital families to thwart any attempts of escape made by cross-region brides and to ascertain their complete subjugation. They  are allowed to step out of the house only for domestic chores like fetching water and wood, fodder for the animals, to make cow dung cakes, dispose of household waste, farm operations and cattle care. Eighteen of the cross-region brides lamented that they are not allowed to meet, be friends with or talk to other women living in the neighborhood. Their social circles are almost negligible which leaves them extremely isolated in already straining conjugal settings. Sixteen of them further added that they are not allowed to sit even in the courtyards of the house or at the roof unless it is for household chores. Also these brides are not taken to any family functions nor are they allowed to be part of the festivities, marriage ceremonies or other celebrations that take place within the village. Their local sisters-in-law on the contrary are never stopped from taking part in such occasions.

Strenuous Domestic and Agricultural Labour

Yet another disturbing revelation from the field analysis is that cross-region brides in many cases are treated no more than bonded servants from whom arduous labor is commanded. They are overburdened with strenuous agricultural tasks and domestic responsibilities with no help from their mother/sister-in-law’s or husbands. The marital journey of a cross-region bride is a perpetual struggle. All the brides complained of being overworked. They are woken up early and forced to work the entire day without any rest in-between. At times after taxing labor all day long, they are even denied proper food and nutrition. 

Table 1.7: Distribution of respondents based on strenuous chores

The cross-region brides can’t dare to say no for anything. Ten of them divulged that whenever they refuse to work, they are starved for days altogether and brutally bashed. The fact that they are sick, pregnant or have had miscarriages/child-birth makes no difference to their conjugal kin. Some of them aren’t even allowed postnatal rest to regain their health. Fifteen brides revealed that they were forced to resume their domestic duties even before they had completed ten days of child-birth. Also during the time of miscarriages and pregnancies, these brides complained of not being looked after properly nor given rest, food and health care. 

No Contact with Natal Family

Another revelation from the field is that restrictions on cross-region brides are so stringent that even the nature of their ties with natal kin is decided and regulated by their husbands or in-law’s. The cross-region brides are not allowed to maintain any contact with their native families whatsoever. Some of them never get to visit their parents or talk to them once they enter Haryana. Of the twenty-four brides, seventeen lamented that they have not visited their hometown ever since their weddings. Also, they are not allowed to communicate with natal kin even telephonically. The cross-region brides are forced to sever all ties with their parents and siblings due to the fear that if taken to their native places they might never return to haryana and also to avoid any trouble from their parents in case they learn about their daughters ordeals. Some of them were not allowed to attend even their parents' last rites. The cross-region brides complained of being extremely lonely as they have no human company and consolation neither in the conjugal region nor from their natal family.

Table 1.8: Distribution of respondents based on contact with natal kin

On the basis of above analysis it can be inferred that various forms of coercion, constraint and violence constitute the lived reality of several cross-region brides in rural Haryana. Their lives have become an unrelenting string of tribulations. They are accorded fairly low status, burdened with exhaustive chores and subjected to extreme violence. Their marginalization can be attributed to a complex intersection of various factors beginning with the very socio-cultural construction of gender which sees women as inferior sex. The systemic inequalities manifested in the patriarchal structures of society are used as an instrument to command their compliance and subordination. In addition, their acute poverty, illiteracy, racial characteristics, outsider (purchased) status and loosening of ties with their natal family puts them in a vulnerable position. The negotiation power of a woman in a marriage relies on her economic independence, literacy and awareness, and support from natal family; all of which strengthens her position and agency within the household (Ahlawat, 2016). In the case of cross-region brides, the fact they are entirely dependent on their husbands, are uneducated, have no awareness regarding their rights or legal provisions, and their natal families are extremely poor which can hardly provide them any support; makes them exposed to marginalization and increased violence. With no one to advocate for them and fleeing not being an alternative, these brides have resigned to their fate and have accepted a highly subservient life as their destined existence. Resistance is rare. 

The marginalization of cross-region brides is a sensitive issue which requires interventions at various levels. First of all, the very phenomenon of cross-region marriages must be acknowledged at both source and receiving regions by the respective governments. Given the absence of statistical data on these marriages, it is suggested that the concerned state governments should conduct extensive surveys in their state to establish a comprehensive database on such matrimonial alliances. Also, while carrying out the survey detailed information must be gathered on the age of the brides, the modes via which these marriages are arranged and the gendered nature of violence that unfortunately several of these women experience in their alien conjugal settings; and policies must accordingly be formulated for their protection. Further, it needs to be ensured that cross-region marriages are duly registered to enable the distressed brides to seek justice in times of abuse and adversity. Campaigns and awareness drives pertaining to gender rights and various legislations relating to women are equally important. Along with that what needs to be strongly addressed is the lack of sensitivity of the parents/kin and their indifference towards the wellbeing of their own daughters. Such parents or kin who indulge in the heinous crime of selling their daughters and other female relatives need to be strictly punished. In addition, the vigilant role of gram panchayats, anganwadi workers and NGO’s (non-governmental organizations) would remain crucial in alleviating the marginalization of cross-region brides and curbing the menace of bride trafficking. While at the native places of the brides, these entities can aim at preventing trafficking and illegal sale-purchase of daughters/girls; at the conjugal regions these can serve to ease the adjustment and incorporation of cross-region brides and effectively address their grievances. Further, bride trafficking must be brought within the purview of anti-trafficking legislations. Above all, a paradigm shift in the patriarchal mindset is vitally important.